3:42:10am Indiana (Eastern) time.
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3:42:10am Indiana (Eastern) time. |
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UPDATE: 02/21/08 Did you see the new Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)?
On this page you will find various quotes, statistics and general info related to various family-oriented issues and topics, especially in regards to custody. They are generally borrowed from many, many like-minded web sites all across the internet. If you are the original owner of such a quote or etc., and would like the same removed from this site, email us via our "Contact ICRC" page. "A man never stands so tall as when he leans over to help a child." - Abraham Lincoln "Remember, our children will not always listen to us, but they will always imitate us." - Anonymous "We believe the children of this state are our greatest resources and every effort should be made to provide for their well-being." The late Governor Frank O'Bannon http://www.state.in.us/fssa/children/support/index.html "If a father defaults on child support he can be incarcerated, but if a mother defaults on his visitation rights a father has to take her to court at great expense that could have been spent on the child". "If divorce law makes men realize the odds of their marriage succeeding are low, they will be less likely to commit in the first place, which is a common complaint of women today," Jed Abraham says. "Although the dispute is symbolized by a 'versus' which signifies two adverse parties at opposite poles of a line, there is in fact a third party whose interests and rights make of the line a triangle. That person, the child who is not an official party to the lawsuit but whose well-being is in the eye of the controversy, has a right to shared parenting when both are equally suited to provide it. Inherent in the express public policy is a recognition of the child's right to equal access and opportunity with both parents, the right to be guided and nurtured by both parents, the right to have major decisions made by the application of both parents' wisdom, judgement and experience. The child does not forfeit these rights when the parents divorce." Judge Dorothy T. Beasley, Georgia Court of Appeals, "In the Interest of A.R.B., a Child," July 2, 1993 'Responsible' has long been a feminist buzzword for supplying your ex with large amounts of cash, in the vague and unverifiable hope that some small part of it will actually reach the children. http://www.legalkids.com We want to speak and be heard, in person or through a specifically-trained individual, at any proceeding where a decision will be made about parental access or custody. We insist on being involved because such decisions change our lives forever. We would prefer that a forum be found that does not include the adversarial nature of the courtroom. The courtroom promotes hostility between our parents. Additionally, legal costs reduce our parents' financial ability to maintain two households, and ultimately reduce our standard of living. Stats and Info: http://www.fathersrc.com/articles.htm The Welfare Reform Act of 1996, recorded in the law book as Public Law 104-193, states, in part, that a data match system will be implemented in which every financial institution in all 50 states will be "required to provide for each calendar quarter the name, record address, social security number or other taxpayer identification number and other identifying information for each noncustodial parent who maintains an account at such institution and who owes past-due support." Children from fatherless homes account for: 63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census). 71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services) 90% of all homeless and runaway children. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988) 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source: Center for Disease Control). 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26, 1978). 71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools). 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children). 85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992). Children from fatherless homes are: 11 times more likely to exhibit violent behavior than children from intact "married" homes. 5 times more likely to commit suicide. 32 times more likely to runaway. 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders. 14 times more likely to commit rape. 9 times more likely to drop out of high school. 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances. 9 times more likely to end up in state-operated institutions. 20 times more likely to end up in prison. 37.9% of fathers have no access/visitation rights. (Source: p.6, col.II, para. 6, lines 4 & 5, Census Bureau P-60, #173, Sept 1991.) "40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish the ex-spouse." (Source: p. 449, col. II, lines 3-6, (citing Fulton) Frequency of visitation by Divorced Fathers; Differences in Reports by Fathers and Mothers. Sanford Braver et al, Am. J. of Orthopsychiatry, 1991.) "Overall, approximately 50% of mothers "see no value in the father`s continued contact with his children...." (Source: Surviving the Breakup, Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein, p. 125) Only 11% of mothers value their husband's input when it comes to handling problems with their kids. Teachers & doctors rated 45%, and close friends & relatives rated %16.(Source: EDK Associates survey of 500 women for Redbook Magazine. Redbook, November 1994, p. 36) "The former spouse (mother) was the greatest obstacle to having more frequent contact with the children." (Source: Increasing our understanding of fathers who have infrequent contact with their children, James Dudley, Family Relations, Vol. 4, p. 281, July 1991.) "A clear majority (70%) of fathers felt that they had too little time with their children." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Mary Ann Kock & Carol Lowery, Journal of Divorce, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 54, Winter 1984.) "Very few of the children were satisfied with the amount of contact with their fathers, after divorce." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Koch & Lowery, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 50, Winter 1984.) "Feelings of anger towards their former spouses hindered effective involvement on the part of fathers; angry mothers would sometimes sabotage father's efforts to visit their children." (Source: Ahrons and Miller, Am. Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 63. p. 442, July 1993.) "Mothers may prevent visits to retaliate against fathers for problems in their marital or post-marital relationship." (Source: Seltzer, Shaeffer & Charing, Journal of Marriage & the Family, Vol. 51, p. 1015, November 1989.) In a study: "Visitational Interference - A National Study" by Ms. J Annette Vanini, M.S.W. and Edward Nichols, M.S.W., it was found that 77% of non-custodial fathers are NOT able to "visit" their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. In other words, non-compliance with court ordered visitation is three times the problem of non-compliance with court ordered child support and impacts the children of divorce even more. Originally published Sept. 1992 Child Support Information from multiple sources show that only 10% of all noncustodial fathers fit the "deadbeat dad" category: 90% of the fathers with joint custody paid the support due. Fathers with visitation rights pay 79.1%; and 44.5% of those with NO visitation rights still financially support their children. (Source: Census Bureau report. Series P-23, No. 173). Additionally, of those not paying support, 66% are not doing so because they lack the financial resources to pay (Source: GAO report: GAO/HRD-92-39 FS). The following is sourced from: Technical Analysis Paper No. 42, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Income Security Policy, Authors: Meyer and Garansky. Custodial mothers who receive a support award: 79.6% Custodial fathers who receive a support award: 29.9% Non-custodial mothers who totally default on support: 46.9% Non-custodial fathers who totally default on support: 26.9% http://www.mhsanctuary.com/ You probably are already aware that many men are abused by partners with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorders). "The Borderline Sanctuary" It is an extensive site about borderline personality disorder. It includes: Ask the Dr. section, latest research on etiology and treatment, resources, "how to get better," Drs. discussion of BPD, info on suicide and medications. Resources, links recommended books and much more. Also, in the Ask the Dr. section, many partners write in about their borderline mates and are extremely frustrated and feel abused. http://home.microserve.net/~steflink/malice.htm Divorce-Related Malicious Mother Syndrome With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a pattern of abnormal behavior has emerged that has received little attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with abundant clinical examples. The American Psychological Association (APA) supports joint custody. No objections to shared parenting hold up against the APA's review of all joint custody studies and reports. Joint "Custody" arrangements are recommended for the children by the latest, most authoritative APA summary in their recent exhaustive review of all the relevant studies. The APA Summary found that joint "custody" arrangements result in "increased father contact and involvement with children," reduced parental conflict, and reduced litigation and costs. Children don't need primary caregivers, they need mothers and fathers. One parent should not have control over the other parent. This is not the proper, "equitable rights and equal opportunities" environment in which to raise our children. University of Iowa law professor Margaret Brinig and Stephen Nock, a sociologist at the University of Virginia, found that in two-thirds of divorce cases women file to terminate the marriage. And in another report to be published by Cambridge University Press this year as part of a book by Robert Rowthorn and Antony Dnes, Divorce and Marriage: An Economic Perspective, Brinig and Nock found that men tend to suffer from postdivorce depression much more than their former wives. They also have a much higher suicide rate in such circumstances. If Congress wants 'active involvement of fathers', Congress needs to immediately establish a rebuttable presumption of joint residential and legal custody. As things stand, the best of fathers have their parental rights terminated in divorce, and are asked to be excited about being "Visitors" to their own children. Most fathers want to be with their children; if the ex has moved them to another state over his protests, it's not easy. Criminal behavior experts and social scientists are finding intriguing evidence that the epidemic of youth violence and gangs is related to the breakdown of the two-parent family. "New Evidence That Quayle Was Right: Young Offenders Tell What Went Wrong at Home," San Francisco Chronicle (12/9/94). Single mothers who work less than full time: 66.2% Single fathers who work less than full time: 10.2% Single mothers who work more than 44 hours per week: 7.0% Single fathers who work more than 44 hours per week: 24.5% Single mothers who receive public assistance: 46.2% Single fathers who receive public assistance: 20.8% In intact families the focus on the children's best interest is to ensure that children receive both emotional and financial support from their parents. Yet, when parents separate or divorce, the focus by the courts shifts towards financial child support by the non-custodial parent, and less about emotional support. Very little is being done to ensure that both parents have a strong emotional relationship with their children. In fact, access and visitation issues are one of the most critical issues faced today in the era of high divorce rates. Does this only affect fathers? No. Many family members are disenfranchised from a loving relationship with their children such as; grandparents, second wives, non-custodial mothers, sisters, relatives, friends, and the list goes on. WHO ARE THE PARENTS SEEKING JOINT CUSTODY? 76% are individual parents who did not initiate nor seek divorce. The remainder either initiated divorce proceedings or divorce was mutually agreed as a course of action. 72% (of those who did not initiate) indicated they preferred to preserve the marriage and family, after their receipt of divorce summons, and sought some rectification through intermediaries or directly. Most of the joint custody-seeking parents have demonstrated a conscientious interest in their family and child-parent relationship, during marriage, upon divorce, and subsequently. These figures are predicated on the personal history of initial parents who have sought out the Joint Custody Association for more information about the topic. http://www.legalkids.com The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child states that a child "should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love, and understanding" and that "parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis..." Too often this as not a reality for children of separation and divorce. It must become a reality. http://www.familycourts.com/frameset1.htm Compare Slavery System Family Court System 1. A state sponsored system of terrorism and abuse against innocent families and children YES ? 2. A morally repugnant and evil system YES ? 3. Strips people of their pride and dignity YES ? 4. Practices invidious discrimination YES ? 5. Destroys long-standing family relationships YES ? 6. Keeps parents and children separated from each other for long periods of time YES ? 7. Deprives people of their Constitutional rights; is unfair and unjust YES ? 8. Causes severe problems for future generations YES ? 9. Is a billion dollar industry that provides obscene profits for all the proponents of the system off of the backs of the oppressed YES ? 10. Is defiantly resistant to change YES ? 11. Encourages people to disobey the law YES ? 12. Deprives the oppressed of any education to help them free themselves from the system YES ? 13. Needs a bold and courageous leader to get rid of the system YES ? 14. Will eventually collapse under the weight of its own moral depravity YES ? 15. Will be shown in future generations to be a crime against humanity YES ? Prevent Child Abuse America 2001 Figures on cost of child abuse and neglect $24,384,347,302.00 = Direct Costs (Hospitalization, General Health Problems, Mental Health Problems, Welfare Costs, Law Enforcement, Judicial System, and Etc.) $69,692,535,227.00 = Indirect Costs (Special Education, Mental Health Problems, Juvenile Delinquency, Lost Productivity, Adult Criminality, and Etc.) $94,076,882,529.00 = Total Costs
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